The Graveyard Shift

Yesterday as Elijah and I were making our way from my parents' house in Lookout Valley back to our house in Ringgold, we decided to make a stop at Bojangle's in Fort Oglethorpe. The thought of fried chicken, mac 'n cheese, and french fries was too much to resist after a long morning of house work. I cut through East Ridge and was driving past the Lakewood Memorial Gardens. Elijah piped up in the back seat: "See all those flowers? I used to work there."

"Really?" I asked. "What did you do there?"

"Well," he said. "There were toys."

I was really curious. "So there were toys at that cemetery?"

"Yep. And yogurt and cheese and computers."

Oddly enough, those are four of his favorite things. I do hope he ends up doing something he loves as a job when he's older. But I can't imagine wanting to work in a cemetery.

Jingle Bells & Old MacDonald

Elijah loves music. This has been evident since early in his life. Even as early as in-utero. He would "dance" in my tummy and use my bladder as his kick drum.

Well, now that he's old enough to memorize lyrics, he loves music even more. We listen to his "Bible songs" in the car pretty much daily. This is helping him increase his singing ability as well as his knowledge of Bible verses. However, the child's musical interests are not limited to the religious.

His newest favorite bedtime ritual includes me, a stuffed Elmo, and a fluffy stuffed dog (appropriately named Sally Fluffy Puppy). I hold Elmo and SFP off to the sides of Elijah's bunk bed, make them peek around the edges at him, and then they enter to sing and dance. A few weeks back Elmo and SFP (aka, Mommy) sang "Jingle Bells" for him. Deciding to be funny, I changed the lyrics to: "Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Granny got a gun. Shot me in the underwear, and boy did I run."

Elijah quickly corrected me and said, "No, Mommy. That's not it. This is how it goes: 'Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells. Jingle all the way. Old MacFarmer had to ride in a one-horse open sleigh."

It took me several "re-sings" before I figured out what he was saying in place of "oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh." Once I did, I told Jason. He said, "You've got to add that to your blog." And now I have.

No Luck

Jason and I took Elijah to Chuck E. Cheese Tuesday of last week. We had fun playing games and spending time together as a family. The next evening it was just Eli and me at home; I asked him what he wanted for dinner. "How 'bout Chuck E. Cheese?" I told him he was out of luck. "Well, Mom, I guess I need more luck."

That Saturday he spent the night at Granny's house. She was talking to him and asking him questions. She asked if he had blue eyes. "Yes." Do you have dogs? "Yes." etc. etc. Then she asked if he had any luck. "No, Granny. Mommy said I'm out of luck."

What a funny little guy.

That's not a Button

This morning, the last official day of Spring Break, Elijah woke up around 7:45 and crawled into our bed. The Newsome Three were cuddling in bed and talking. Jason was trying to tickle Elijah who kept turning to me for protection. Finally, Jason gave up on the tickling and started poking Eli's nose and making a "boop boop" noise. Eli said, "Quit that. It's not a button. It's my nose."

That reminded me of something he said a few weeks ago when he went to the emergency room. He had fallen off the piano bench face first into our concrete basement floor. I took him to the ER to get him checked out because he had a rather large knot above his right eye; furthermore, he kept holding his whole face and crying like he was in major pain. (Normally, when he whacks his noggin, he cries for a few minutes then goes on with his life.) Anyway... we checked into the ER and they came to get us shortly and took us back to a room. The doctor came about an hour later. He checked over Eli and made the comment, "You're probably going to have a black eye for a while." Eli didn't miss a beat. "Uh, uh. I have blue eyes." You really can't get one past this kid.

It's been a while

A lot has happened since my last post. I'll try to remember the highlights.

One evening Elijah and I were playing Nerf hockey on the living room floor. We each had a little plastic paddle that we used to hit a little plastic puck back and forth. We kept losing the puck under Eli's little recliner, so we spread his plastic snake out under the front edge of the chair to act as a "goalie" for us. It worked wonderfully well. When I had to get up to start working on dinner, Eli said he'd play hockey with the snake. He got all set up and got the snake ready. Then all of a sudden I heard him exlaim in consternation, "Uh, Mommy. Him don't have any hands. UGH! Now how do I play?" It struck me as hilarious (as much of what he says does) and I found myself playing hockey again.

For this one you really have to use your imagination. It also helps if you've ever heard Elijah say something with great excitement. Granny (aka, Jason's mom Vonnie) got the Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel movie for Elijah for Easter. We watched part of it one night until Elijah announced that it was time for bed. He watched the rest of it the next day on our way home from Murfreesboro where we'd gone to meet my sister and her girls for lunch. Well, that evening at dinner, Jason asked what we were going to do for family fun. I couldn't come up with anything great because I was in the beinning stages of my annual Spring Break Cold/Sinus Crud. Daddy couldn't think of anything either because he'd just worked an 11 or 12 hour day. So Elijah said, "Oh, I know. We can watch Alvin & the Chipmunks... the SQUEEEEEKUELLLLLLL!" He said it with such excitement and conviction that we laughed uproariously and, of course, ended up watching the movie. (It really is quite cute, by the way.)

Speaking of my annual Spring Break Cold/Sinus Crud... I felt pretty bad on Good Friday but drove up to Murfreesboro to see my sister and her girlies any way. By Friday night, I was rough and by Saturday morning, I was downright miserable. Good thing there weren't any swimming lessons that day, huh? Easter Sunday dawned bright and beautiful. I, on the other hand, did not. I was definitely sick. Elijah went with his daddy for some Daddy/Son bonding time since they get to see so little of each other during the week and left me at home to rest. They returned later in the day to check on me and bring me lunch. I rested all day Sunday. At some point, Elijah found some old headphones from my walkman. He decided they looked pretty much like every doctor's stethoscope he'd ever seen. He walked up to me and proclaimed, "I the doctor. You feel sick?"

"Yes, sir, I do. Can you help me?"

"Yes, I can. Open your mouth and say 'ah'. I make you all better." He took a quick (but thorough, I'm sure) look at my mouth, throat, nose, and ears and listened to my heart and my knee for good measure. Then he said with concern, "I go get another doctor. I be right back." He disappeared down the hallway. Pretty soon another doctor (who looked suprisingly like Elijah) came walking into the living room and over to my spot on the love seat. "Hi, I'm the new doctor."

"What's your name, doctor?"

"I Doctor Bebo," he said.

"Well, you sure are the cutest doctor I've ever seen," I told him.

Without missing a beat, Doctor Bebo replied, "Yeah, I know."

When I'm Big

Elijah and I were talking the other day... It was a Friday afternoon and we were on our way home from his babysitter's house.

"What we doin' next?" he asked. I told him we had to do some housework when we got home so we could play. "Okay, I help you."

"Well, thank you," I replied. "I'll clean the bathroom and you can clean your playroom."

"But I wanna help you in the potty," he protested. I tried to explain that he was too little to help clean the bathrooms because of the strong cleaners. "But I a big boy already."

"Yes, honey, you are a big boy. But you have to be much bigger before I let you help in the bathrooms. Okay?" To be honest, I was thrilled he wanted to help clean. This could work out good for me in the future.

"Maybe when I get this big [at which point he held up his hand as high as it would go] I can help you."

"Yes, dear," I said with a grin.

"And I can be a daddy, too, when I get that big."

I told him he could get married and be a daddy when he gets much, MUCH bigger.

He asked me quite seriously, "Do I need a ring first?" I told him that yes he would need a wedding ring. "Can it be a Spider Man ring?"

I laughed and responded, "You can definitely tell your sweetheart that you want your wedding ring to be a Spider Man ring, honey."

"Okay, Mommy."

More of Elijah's Wit

Elijah has said several things in the past several days that have left me laughing.

One night while we were watching tv he said, "Mommy, what's Daddy's name?"

"Jason Bryan Newsome," I replied.

He said, "No. What's him other name?"

I thought for a minute. "Um, Daddy?"

"No, the other one," he argued patiently.

Suddenly, I remembered watching the videos from the hospital when he was born. Jason had been videoing everyone who was there the night before he was born. "There's Papa Don, there's Granny. There's Mommy. What do you wanna be called?"

I said, quite breathlessly since I had no lung capacity, "The Queen!" :)

Jason then turned the camera on himself and said, "And I'm your Daddy but you can call me Dadabooboodadadoo!"

When we watched it, Elijah just cracked up. So I tried it. "You mean Dadabooboodadadoo? That name?"

"Yes. That one." Then he pointed at the lettering on my t-shirt. "Your name is Mommy Bryan Newsome."

"What?!" I asked.

"I Eli Bryan, Daddy is Daddy Bryan, you Mommy Bryan!" We've made such a big deal making sure he knows that his middle name Bryan came from his daddy and his Papa. Guess he thinks ALL the Newsomes have that as their middle name.

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Wednesday morning I let Elijah sleep late since I wasn't going to school but was driving to Nashville for Logan's daddy's funeral. Elijah and I were eating breakfast together. As we were eating, Elijah said, "What's that noise?"

Having not heard anything unusual, I asked, "What noise?"

"That scratching noise," he said.

"I don't know, Eli. What do you think it is?"

"Um," he thought for a minute. "It's a tiger and it wants to eat your bed."

I laughed. "Well, Daddy's still in bed!"

"Uh, oh. We better go wake him up!" he exclaimed.

I lost it!

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Elijah has been asking for a baby brother or sister (sometimes both) since before Christmas. (He even asked Santa.) The other night he mentioned that he wanted a sister. I said, "Well, Mommy's not having one right now. You'll just have to be patient."

"No, I get one now," he said urgently.

"Well, where will you get one?" I asked, not sure I wanted to know the answer.

"At the store." Duh, Mommy. :)